Tips of Sexy Body Language for the First Date

You are on your first date with your dreamdate. Sexual body language signals to tell you they are hot for you. Tips on flirting for the successful dating game.

1: Gazing adoringly. When attracted to someone, we all have problems shifting our gaze. Even when the object of our lust has ceased speaking, the lustful stare is still happening. To be a little provocative, use this to your advantage, and during a pause in conversation, keep your eyes on your date to the silent count of five. Conversely, the more often your date blinks, the more nervous they are.

2: Hands. Clenched fists, tightly knitted hands or hands pressed against the mouth indicate nervousness and tension. Worse still, is if their hands are holding up their head as this shows total boredom, or they are about to collapse with fatigue or alcohol. Anxious people tend to hold their own hands or fidget with objects on the table. Hands placed openly with palms facing upwards on the table indicate a more relaxed open person. If you are terribly nervous, try having your hands loosely clasped on the table, as this gives off better vibes than gripping your fingers together or folding your arms. Placing your hands on your chest while speaking makes you appear lively and truthful.

3: Volume of speech. If they consider you their equivalent, their tone won’t be too high or too low. Very loud voices tend to belong to dominant personalities and very soft veer to the meek.

4: Subconscious autoerotic touching. Sexy thinking leads us to subconsciously touch ourselves, for several reasons. Firstly, to gain attention to various body parts. Guys and girls will both stroke their lips and girls will rub their upper arms, thighs, hips and waists. Secondly, we touch ourselves to tease the other. Thirdly, when sexually excited, blood is rushing around engorging extremities, making everything supersensitive. Touching ourselves then feels good.

5: Mouth. A very strong sexual body language gesture is when your date starts to eat, drink or smoke faster. Thinking about sex gets you touching your mouth. Putting things in your mouth can imply that you are interested sexually. Girls lick ice cream cones, play with spoons and suck their fingers.

6: Her Hair. Interested girls will start playing with their hair. Fluffing her hair, stroking her hair, and the strongest of all, the flick of the hair, are all body language signals of availability or flirting. However, if she should start to hide behind her hair she is showing disinterest.

7: Fiddling Guys. As guys become more sexually excited they start to give off their own flirting signals. These can include rubbing his nose, playing with his tie, sliding rings over fingers, and fiddling with loose coins in his pocket. Adjusting his hair is a sign that he is wanting to look good for you.

8:Checking out your butt. If you catch your date checking out your butt when you leave the table to visit the bar or bathroom, then they are having lustful thoughts.

9: Symbolically stripping. Undoing buttons, loosening ties, removing jackets and pushing up sleeves are all strong sexual body language gestures. Publicly undressing without realizing it ,is mother nature’s way of getting us naked with someone we share sexual chemistry with.

10: Touching. Unsure where the date is going? Try the touch test. Touch their hand, arm or shoulder. Unless they are shy, they should return the touch within 10 minutes if they like you. On a good first date , there should be three sets of touching for three seconds each time.

11: The wineglass. The date is a winner if he is rubbing the rim of his glass with his fingers. Likewise, if she is stroking her glass up and down. If she is also making direct eye contact and playing with her straw she is definitely flirting. However, wine glasses held at chest height or higher are a sign that there will not be a second date. Likewise, if your date wraps both their hands around their glass. The wineglass test. This is a great subconscious body language test to gauge that first date. Start playing with an object from your side of the table eg: wineglass, spoon etc. Lean forward just slightly and subtly move it just onto your date’s side of the table. Remove your hands, lean back and keep talking. If your date absentmindedly pushes it back to you they are not interested. If they leave it where it is, or hold it, you are in luck. To take it further, push another object their way and leave your arms on the table. The keen date will now lean forward as well and push something from their side of the table over to you.

12: Kiss, kiss. All these are strong signals that your date is receptive to a kiss: touching their mouth, licking their lips, putting their head close to yours, eating and drinking seductively, and tilting their head while looking at you. Start the kiss with a soft light brush against their lips. If they pull back, clench their lips or slap your face, you should stop! If they lean in, part their lips or touch the back of your neck they are happy to continue.

The art of flirting through nonverbal communication has never been easier! Use this dating advice for interpreting body language and sending out your own sexual signals. Flirt that first date into a second date!

source: http://ezinearticles.com/

How To Get `Wild` With Your Wife

Feeling a little bored with your love life? Yearning to heat things up and do some of the wild and crazy things you’ve been reading about, or overheard others bragging about? Then it’s time to look at how to bring out the inner kink in you and your wife. First, however, it’s important to cover a few simple ground rules:

Kinky Sex, Erotic Videotape, Bondage...

When I say “kinky” what comes to mind? Bondage? Making an erotic videotape of you and your lover? Outdoor sex? For each person reading this the answer is probably going to be different, because each of us has our own idea of just what the heck is or isn’t kinky. To some poor souls oral sex is too kinky to consider (both giving and receiving), and sadly many women still feel the idea of masturbating for their own pleasure (or yours) is too kinky too.

Then there’s also the phenomenon that both men and women are guilty of – and that is that our tolerance for “kinky” increases depending on how turned on we are. So face the facts, letting your girlfriend tie you up and have her way with you (strap on dildo optional) might sound scary when you’re stone cold sober in the light of a boring work day, but it might really do it for you when you’re all hot and bothered. Now’s the time to face those places your mind goes when you’re really turned on.

Kinky Sex, Mind Blowing Sex

Here’s one of the interesting facts about those with very hot, very kinky sex lives that I’ve discovered in my research – those who have mind blowingly crazy sex are a) great communicators about their wants and needs b) they take responsibility for making it happen. People (and I mean both men and women here) who have amazing sex lives (the sort that would make us drool with envy) take their sex lives very seriously and they make sure to make what they want happen by communicating very honestly with their partners and taking all of the necessary steps to learn what they need to learn in order to make what they fantasize about happen. There is, after all, an art to tying all of those bondage knots.

So if you’ve got something new you want to try out you’re going to have to speak up about it, but we’ll get into how to go about speaking up a little bit later…

Tell Your Lover What Your Fantasy Is

Some people, perhaps because they feel so totally repressed and ashamed of their desires, take them way too seriously. When they finally do screw up the courage to tell their lover what their fantasy is, they expect things to work out perfectly the way they have been in their head.

Okay, so sex rocks, right? But whenever you’re trying out something new there is a good chance something won’t go as planned or hope for. Be able to let go and laugh about it. And also be able to reflect back and talk about what happened and how it can go better next time.

Share Your Sexual Pleasure

We can get so turned on by our fantasies and desires we forget sexual pleasure has to be a two way street if we really want a successful sex life. The pleasure receiving can only be lopsided for so long before one party starts resenting the other and a massive traffic jam brings your sex life to a grinding halt.

If you want your lover to try new things with you you’ve got to make sure she’s going to have a good time as well. Don’t assume your fantasies and desires are going to thrill her as much as they thrill you. Men get into trouble with this all the time – they assume that their own desire for a woman, and what they want the woman to do, is enough for the woman to be turned on and sexually thrilled. It’s a lazy assed cop out, don’t fall into it.

Don’t know what will thrill your gal in return? Ask. The more sincere you are, the more you’re really open to learning, the easier it’ll be for her to open up and share…and as the two of you begin to feel more secure and easy about opening up your erotic imagination together the hotter it’ll get.

Here’s probably one of the most important points of about creating a really hot sex life and upping the kink meter – make sure you don’t have a double standard with women. A quick way to have your lover shut down, and not want to try new things, is to expect her to take all the risks and for you to sit back and watch. If you want her to put on an erotic strip tease and give you the lap dance of your dreams what are you willing to do in exchange? If you want her to let you have anal sex with her, you’d better be willing to have your back door explored as well, and need I say that the same thing goes for any tying up?

And, guys you’ve got to get rid of any whore/Madonna complex you’ve got going on if you want to have a really steamy erotic sex life. Categorizing women this way will only come back to bite you in the ass. You can’t expect a woman to open up to you, and explore hidden aspects of your mutual sexuality if you’re going to judge her for it after all is said and done.

Okay, so now that we’ve laid the ground rules let’s look at how exactly you can bring in the kink and unleash your inner hedonist:

The Big Secret About Kinky Sex - Ease Into Things

Chances are if you’ve been having regular relatively normal missionary style sex with your lover (with a little oral sex for both parties thrown in for extra thrills) and suddenly you tell your lover you want her to dominate you completely and walk around with you on a leash at sex clubs she’ll probably freak out a bit. Actually she might freak out a lot. If you want to succeed at kinky sex, and your lover or wife or girlfriend hasn’t been offering suggestions in that directly already, you need to ease into things a bit slowly while you test the waters and let her get use to the idea. Let me give you examples of how this can work:

You Want Her to Wear Kinky Fetish Lingerie and Clothing (or just sexy lingerie in general)

If she doesn’t already own a pair of thigh high platform boots, or a corset that gives her a wasp waist, or anything sexier than a pair of white cotton boy style briefs, your girl is either a bit repressed, she doesn’t see herself that way, or she’s a bit cheap.

Good lingerie and fetish wear is expensive, and if you’re the one hankering for her to wear it you’d better be prepared to spend some cash. But you’ve got to move forward with tact and taste. Start by showing her some of the more “normal” but sexy types of lingerie you’d like to see her wear from magazines and the Internet. Get her feedback. Ask if there’s anything she’s secretly wanted to try on but has been afraid to look silly or extravagant.

Make things fun. Plan a day to go shopping together (and yes, men can usually go into the dressing rooms at the seriously sexy clothing stores). Just know in advance how hot and bothered it’s going to make the both of you.

Now, if what you really want to see her in are stockings and a garter belt sans panties (and don’t we all) or a pvc mini dress (also sans panties) start talking about it well in advance. Let her get use to the idea. Let her work it over in her mind and move from being a bit frightened by the idea, to being turned on by it. You can even make a game of it. Why not dare her to wear something really sexy (which you buy) and if she goes through with it you have to wash her car, or something else she’s asked for that you’ve flaked on or ignored? And if she flashes you in public (like while getting out of the car) then she gets extra brownie points.

You Want Her to Masturbate For You

Shocking but true, even in our modern times there are plenty of women who just don’t masturbate, or just won’t admit to it if they do. Unfortunately in the minds of many women it’s an embarrassing and risqué thing to do. If this is your lover, and especially if she’s having trouble experiencing orgasms with you, you need to let her know that she didn’t come with an instruction manual when the two of you started getting naked together. Only by her being brave and showing you exactly what she does to get herself off will you learn the sort of touch and technique that will help you do the very same thing.

You Want Her to Try Sex Toys

While many women love sex toys there are quite a few who either never though they needed to try them, or are just too embarrassed to give them a go. The main thing to focus on is that sex toys are suppose to bring more fun and pleasure into the bedroom, not replace a lover.

One of the best ways to bring toys into the bedroom is to let her know you’re looking for ways to enhance her pleasure rather inferring that you’re bored with your love life together (even if you are). Spend time doing some research (taking her sexual needs into account) and then show her a few toys that you’ve earmarked to get her feedback on. Great toys to start with are those that help with G-spot stimulation for more intense female orgasms.

You Want Her to Indulge in a Fantasy With You

Let’s review just what the heck a fetish is in the first place. Here’s what the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary has to say:

b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

As you can see, for some of us a fetish is something that just makes us hot and bothered (like a fine ass, or beautiful pair of breasts) but for some of us we can only experience sexual pleasure and gratification via a particular act or if a particular object is involved (say a wicked pair of stilettos).

Obviously the first sort of fetish is far easier to open up and share about than the second, but sooner or later you’re going to have to be open about your desires and needs. Again, moving slowly and carefully into kinky sex is better than dumping your secrets on a lover all in one rushed event. She may surprise you and be totally open and into whatever it is that you are drawn to (she might, after all, be dying to spank you), but put yourself in her place and recognize that we tend to think our own sexual needs and desires are relatively normal while those that differ from our own are pretty darn weird.

The Kinky Sex Payoff

It’s not that hard to heat up your love life with kinky sex if you’re willing to play fair, communicate, and take responsibility. Your lover may know you quite well but she can’t read your mind, especially since human beings are constantly growing and changing – even in regards to our sexuality and what turns us on. You’ve got to let her know exactly what it is you’d like to try and also why it’s in her best interest to do so…and it goes without saying (though I have and I will) that you’ve got to be open to her sharing the same information with you. Double standards are a sure way to keep you in dullsville, or even get you dumped.

source: http://www.seductioninsider.com/

The Risks Of Online Dating

There is no question that the popularity of online dating has revolutionized the way potential couples meet each other. These days, it is not uncommon for the average single person to participate in an online dating service. In fact, this trend is fast becoming the norm.

It goes without saying that online dating is big business in America. There are many reasons why people find this method of meeting new people so appealing. For one thing, everyone is doing it! There are many online dating services and plenty of them offer free services.

The combination of curiosity and the desire to meet new, exciting people is what usually lures individuals to be a part of an online dating service community. But this new activity doesn't come without a price.

Sure it doesn't happen all the time, but just every now and then we hear horror stories about online dating services. Some of them are scary enough to keep casual observers away from these online dating services for good.

One of the problems facing the industry of online dating service is that its participants often misrepresent themselves in the profiles that they create. Not everyone tells the truth. People have been known to lie about everything, including their marital status. Some married individuals try to pass themselves off as single, while others lie about their physical appearance, age, economic status, and even gender.

For an inexperienced online dater, danger lurks at every corner. But there are some safety measures prospective participants can take to help guide them through a safe online dating experience.

Rule of the thumb: most online dating services that offer subscriptions are relatively safer than those that can be accessed for free.Paid membership sites offer a set of requirements and guidelines that aspiring members have to meet.

Some sites are so exclusive that anyone who wants to join has to undergo an intensive screening process first. Background checks are done on aspiring members to make sure the information they have given is true.

Some more safety tips when it comes to online dating:

1. Pay attention to the consistency of the information given by the persons you are corresponding with. This way, you may be able to catch them out in a lie.

2. Online daters should protect their identity. One of the greatest things about online dating is that it offers participants anonymity. Personal information like address, last name and phone number, is not revealed until the participant decides to do so. You should be extremely careful about divulging personal information that will make it possible for the people to locate you.

3. You should immediately cease communication with people who seem obsessed with acquiring personal information about you.

4. Always watch out for warning signs when talking to people, such as: the use of foul language, signs of anger for no apparent reason, elusiveness in answering direct questions, disrespectful remarks, etc. These are some of the symptoms that spell trouble. The person exhibiting these types of behavior may not be trustworthy, and continuing the relationship could be dangerous.

5. Once you agree to meet your date, don't ask them to your home, but meet in a public place that is well-lit, with plenty of other people around.

Online dating is similar to real life dating in the sense that individuals should always practice common sense and caution whenever they meet someone new. Even though the interaction takes place online, once you have revealed personal information about yourself, you can't take it back.

It is best to always use one's instincts and logic when it comes to dealing with other people, even when it comes to online dating. This is where some people fall prey to cheaters, deceivers, and even sexual offenders. They go against their better judgment. If something feels amiss, then this is probably a sign that something could go terribly wrong.

It is best to get out of this situation like this. As the saying goes: "Better be safe than be sorry". A saying that online dating service participant should always remember.

Tips To Secure Your Online Dating Safety

Online personals and dating can be a very fun venue towards meeting that special someone. However, one's safety should still be the top priority. Did you know that most online dating services do not pre-screen their users? This means that they cannot ensure that the people you meet through their sites are safe enough to be dealt with. So, this makes you call the shots when it comes to screening them.

Few basics about online dating

Starting with a few basics to remember about online dating :

• People tend to lie (or embellish a little), in order so they would appear more appealing. This is especially true for those out there that are looking to abuse.
• The dating web sites, (mostly) do not monitor or control profiles at all, and as such you should not expect to get any protection from dating services in this regard.
• Even photos placed on a profile can be deceiving, and should also be viewed with a degree of distrust.
• There is no way that online dating services can guarantee that personal information handed out online by you, will not be abused by other parties for various illegal and problematic activities, including spam.
• Setting up, and meeting the person/s also offers significant risk, as this very closely resembles a blind date, and to make things worse, without the referral benefit of a friend.
• Of course meeting with a strange person in any environment which could lead to more intimate experiences, come with obvious health risks as well.

Make online dating less risky and more fun

Here are a few tips to make online dating less risky and more fun:

1. Anonymity Breeds Safety, For Awhile. Giving your real email address, personal web site URL, last name, phone number, place of work, home address, or any other information that identifies you in your profile or first few emails that you exchange with other members makes you an easy victim. Turn off your signature file, or make sure that it does not have any identifying information, when sending emails to a member through your own email.

2. Photo Perfect Request. To give an idea of the person's look, thus make you a tad safer, request for a picture. A scanned photo won't cost so much, so no excuse can be given for not doing it.

3. Lean on Common Sense. Trusting your online acquaintances easily can make you easy bait. If your gut feel tells you that someone is lying, there's a big chance that you are right. Look for someone that deserves your trust. Online intimacy is very dangerous. Don't indulge yourself in such endeavor at the click of a mouse. Logical thinking will save you a lot of trouble.

4. Call First, Don't Drool Just Yet. A person's skills when it comes to communicating can be easily gauged through a phone call. Though it might cost you some moolah, it is worth it to make sure you don't fall for someone who is anti-social. However, to make things a lot safer, use a cell phone or a pay phone instead of using your land line. Unless you are absolutely comfortable with the person you are calling, don't give your home phone number at once.

5. Delay the Meeting. It is advisable to take your time and get to know the person as much as possible first before saying yes to a face to face meeting. If he seems to be only spouting or keying saccharine words that you want to hear, the person on the other end might have a questionable honesty. Don't feel like you are obligated to meet anyone, you still have the last say on whether you are ready to meet the person or not. You are free to change your mind if anything feels not right.

6. Psychoanalyze or End up with a Psycho. You should pay attention to any signs of intense frustration, anger or any displays of aggressive behavior. If the person is trying to control or pressure you, stop the communication. Here are the other alarming manifestations of bad behavior that will make you aware that you are in danger.

• giving dubious info about appearance, age, interests, profession, marital status, etc.
• refusal to converse with you over the phone when you have already established online intimacy
• consistently not giving any direct answers to direct questions, etc.
• overly agreeing to your every statement
• asking you to provide travel arrangements

7. Offline Meeting. Before meeting your online friend, tell someone reliable where you will go and when you will return. Leaving your date's name and phone number is a good idea. Bring your mobile phone. Don't allow your date to pick you up at home. Have your own transportation and meet somewhere public. During the date, don't leave your drink unattended. After the date, leave on your own too.

To make online dating work, it is imperative that you exercise caution. Have ample time to get to know the other person, don't rush yourself or allow anyone to rush you into doing anything. It's better to be safe and dateless for a while than sorry.

Benefits of Online Dating

This article will be on the benefits of online dating when compared to dating in the traditional sense.

1. Cheaper - Before online dating, most singles went to a a bar or dance club to try and meet other singles. While this is fun, it is a hard way for a lot of people to meet someone. To succeed this way you need an outgoing personality. Plus, you do not get an accurate representation of meeting someone new in a noisy, busy environment. For the cost of going out for a single night (taxi, drinks, food, etc...) you could get at least a 6 month membership on most popular dating sites.
   
2. Faster - Meeting someone online is a lot faster than traditional dating. Just login to your online dating site and perform a few simple searches to bring up your potential matches. From here, if they are online, try sending them an instant message request or your could write a personal email that is tailored to the individual.
   
3. Dating Safety - This is important. When using your typical dating site, all mail and communication remains anonymous. This means that the person you are communicating with will know your screen name (nick name) but will not know your real name, phone number and address until you decided when and if this is the right person to give this information too.
   
4. Dating Site Security - Say you started mailing or chatting to someone online and you found out he or she turned out to be a real pain and now they will not leave you alone. In online dating this is not a major problem. Most dating sites allow you to block members from appearing in your search results, sending you mail and chatting to you. This is usually as easy as clicking on the block button that appears next to their name in the search results or on their profile detail page. If you need too, you can always go a step further and report them to the dating site customer support.
   
5. The Number of Singles - When using an online dating service you have access to potentially millions of singles from your home computer. It all depends on your search criteria and how far you are willing to travel.
   
6. Initiating Contact - It is easier to send a carefully composed email than walking up to someone to initiate contact at a bar. Plus, you know when the person is reading your mail he or she is actively looking to meet someone online.
   
7. Get to know the person - With a reasonable degree of accuracy you have a great deal of information about the person instantly. You will have such information as their interests, location, education, description and most likely a photo. Plus, you will have such deal breaker details such as if the person is interested in having children, if they smoke and their religious preferences. This type of information hardly ever comes up in the first few times of meeting new people using traditional dating methods. You also get to communicate with this person remotely as long as you want until you decide if you want to go on a date.
   
8. Everyone is Available - Who joins a dating service unless they want to meet someone. Going out to a bar or a club to meet singles for dating can be successful but most likely less than half the people at these places are there to meet someone to create a relationship. They may be there just for a good time with their friends.
   
9. Meeting New People - With dating online meeting new people is a snap. If you find yourself always dating the same type of people and it's not working out, online dating allows you to easily search for people with different interests and personalities, who says opposites attract!
   
10. Rejection - Face to face rejection is hard. In online dating a simple email stating "No, I am not interested." is a lot easier to receive plus it is expected that not all the profiles you mail may be interested in you. These dating site members may already be talking to someone or possibly something in your profile may have not interested them .

When you use online dating correctly and with all the benefits listed here, you will almost always succeed in finding someone to date and maybe share the rest of your life together.

Source: http://www.datingsitesreviews.com/

Should I Go Online Dating?

Why not? That is the answer for many of those undecided and unsure of Internet dating. There are many reasons for doing so, and by being a member of online dating services, you are expanding your social circle and raising your hopes to find your perfect match.

Online dating services have grown by leaps and bounds over the years. Most singles have become members of such online dating sites, with high success rates. Here are some reasons why online dating is perfectly right and safe for you.

It is fun

In case you did not know or haven’t heard yet, online dating is the most prominent way of meeting attractive and fun people all over the world. It is safe, easy, and fun way of meeting and connecting with so many great people. Every month, millions of singles all over the world are available for instant communication, with hundreds of thousands signing up as new members.

Benefits of online dating

The benefits of online dating are absolutely endless. For example, most dating services in the Internet have millions of members, mostly actives ones that are just waiting to communication with somebody like you for friendship, lunch or dinner dates, and possibly even more. The odds of finding a special mate in these online dating services are very high since these singles intend to meet someone like you. Imagine the millions of potential mates in online dating sites.

The icing on the cake is the features of most online dating sites, such as the easy access to the wide profiles of people, with their photos, audio and video clips available at an instant. It’s like meeting somebody new at the click of a mouse right in your own home.

Internet Dating is Easy

Online dating sites have hundreds of millions as members. So, for example, if you don’t want somebody because his or her profile doesn’t match you or it doesn’t interest you, you could move on to another profile. Most, if not all, online dating sites also have features that enable you to state what you look in for a partner. Say what you like or dislike for a mate, as well as the things that you do or hobbies, among others. Submit it to the online dating site where you are a member, then just wait for emails coming from the online dating services informing you of their latest possible matches for you! It’s that easy! You don’t have to go to the site every day just to check who’s hot for you.

If somebody piques your interest, you could send him or her an instant message or an email. And hopefully, he or she will do the same. From there, you can take the contact to the higher level. It is that fast and easy.

Some factors that you should consider

Okay, you say, online dating gives you more pros than cons. But, how to choose from the various online sites out there?

1. Do some budgeting.
Determine how much of your money do you want to be used for online dating. Do a budget. Some internet sites require you to pay one-time fees, while some ask for monthly membership fees.

2. Seek recommendations.
You could ask friends or colleagues who have become acquainted with some online dating sites for their tips in looking for a good dating site. They can give additional information not available from Internet dating sites.

3. Check available sites.
Check the Internet for possible information for dating websites. Try to see what sites are the most popular or least visited.

4. Consider specialized sites.
There are also specialized dating sites available. Some are for seniors, some for homosexuals and some are for different religious affiliations among others.

5. Weigh the cons and pros.
From the online sites that you have checked, select only the top three for you and compare their advantages and disadvantages with the rest. Factors to be considered are the site’s success rate, number of members, features, fee costs, among others.

Dating has never been this much fun. Whether it is for friendship or a long-term romantic relationship (even marriage), online dating sites could help you on these areas in just a few clicks. Isn’t that easy?

Reveal Your Hidden Desires with Role Playing

When you're ready to take your sexual relationship from average to exceptional, role playing is certainly an avenue you may want to explore. There's something about the guise of being in character that allows couples to open their mind to things they might not have considered before. Role playing also makes it easier to reveal some of your hidden desires. It can alleviate some of the boredom and pressure to be creative or try every new position under the sun. If this is something you'd like to try, or you'd just like to get new ideas for, read on…

First things first…

If you've never engaged in this activity before, it might seem a little silly at first, especially if you chose to wear costumes. The best way to start out is to really go slowly. You can introduce the topic by asking a simple question such as, "Have you been good today?" The endless answers to that kind of question invite many different role-playing scenarios. You can also set up a scene that you both must act as a character in. For example, one of you will come to the door to fix something and things lead from there. If you want to be a little more formal about the process, send an invitation to your partner inviting them to join you in a little sex play. Explain their character and give any other instructions you wish them to follow. After you've done it a few times, you'll both feel a little more comfortable with it and the ideas for new adventures will be something you'll both be eager to explore.

The Scenarios…

Once you've decided to try this type of sex play, you'll need to pick a role playing scenario to act out. Below are a few favorites and maybe some you've never considered. Pick a few to try or act them all out. Just remember to have fun and make sure you are BOTH comfortable with what you're trying.

Teacher/Student
This is probably the most common role playing scenario. Usually the woman plays the student and the man is the teacher or professor. You can make the scenario anything from pleasing the teacher in exchange for grades to being the teacher's pet. Costumes are fairly easy for this scenario as well. A short skirt and white button up shirt usually works for the female student role. The male teacher role doesn't really involve any special costume idea. Just wear what you feel comfortable in. If you switch the roles and have the female as the teacher and the male as the student, you can really get creative. You can have the female teacher be extremely sexy or extremely harsh, depending on your partner's fantasy. She can have her hair tied up in an extremely harsh bun and wear large rimmed glasses for the naughty schoolboy approach.

Slave/Master
This role playing scenario is perfect when one partner doesn't wish to have to think about what to do or how to behave. It also quite stimulating for both partners involved. Costumes or play wear should be decided by whoever is playing the role of master. You might also consider props like a blindfold and some items to use to tie up your partner. Always make sure both partners are completely in agreement with the props and activities. The best idea is to have some type of safe word to make each partner comfortable with the limitations.

Service Worker/House Wife
In this scenario one partner plays the role of a service worker. There are many roles to choose from in this scenario including a mailman, plumber, cable repairman, phone repairman, or pizza delivery person. You could even include occupational role playing of police officer, fire person or a military service person in this scenario. Typically this role playing scene plays out with the service person coming to the door and finding the other person alone in the home. What happens from there is virtually endless.

Bar Pick Up Scenario
This role playing scenario starts outside the home. You meet and anonymously one of you gets "picked up" at the bar. You can also go all out for this one by meeting at a hotel bar and getting a room for an "impromptu" lover's tryst. This particular role playing idea is especially great for couples who have been together for quite some time and really need an infusion of spark and romance.

Artist/Model
For those with a creative flair, this can get quite steamy! There are two possibilities for this scenario. The first is one is the artist and the other partner is sitting for a nude portrait. You can also do this as a photographer/model scenario. The second scenario is a little more fun and creative. One partner is still the artist, but the other person plays the part of the actual canvas. The artist will then begin to paint the "blank" canvas any way they wish.

Escort/Client
This is another one to try when one partner would rather give up control of the scenario. With this idea one partner is scheduled to meet the other, usually at a hotel. When they get to the scene, the other partner is not there. Instead they find the clothes they must wear and instructions to wait. When the other partner arrives they begin to command what the escort should do. You can actually go through a whole date while playing these roles. Things could get interesting!

Stripper/Client
This is a fairly straight forward role play. One person plays the stripper and the other is the lucky benefactor. You can also add this role play to the escort/client or master/slave scenarios as well.

Doctor/Patient
Need a check up? Your partner might thing so! This role playing idea is a very common one. Decide who will be the doctor and who will be the patient and have fun setting up your scenario. Will they be a good patient or a bad patient? There are many ways to play this one out.

source: http://www.lovingyou.com/

The Art of Seduction

Seduction is the art, and joy, of tempting your partner into a romantic, sensual liaison. It is less about the outcome of your liaison, and more about the game of seducing. When you begin a game of seduction you are inviting your partner to a completely sensual experience designed to heighten ALL of their senses. Your partner should be in a passive role, while you determine which sense to heighten and which zone to pleasure.

Typically, a successful seduction is longer than your average lovemaking session, and can even last over a few days or weeks. It's important to remember that coupling doesn't always have to happen. Think of it as an extended foreplay session. If days of sensual innuendoes and mood setters can't get your partner in the mood, nothing will!

Before beginning your seduction plan, you need to decide how long you want your seduction to last. Is there a special day coming up? Do you want to make some serious changes in your love play? If so, a week long seduction might be a better approach.

Once you've decided your time limit, you'll want to look at how you want to begin capturing your partner's sensual attention. There are numerous ways to go about this. The most important thing to remember about this stage is that you should NOT couple! This is about getting their interest and heightening their senses for when you actually do couple. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• leave an erotic love note on their pillow
• e-mail a fantasy you wish to enact with them
• give a sensual massage using your favorite massage oils
• have a finger food picnic
• play a lover's game
• kiss longer and more frequently
• find more opportunities to touch your partner
• make eye contact more frequently
• watch a semi-erotic move such as Henry & June
• have an old fashion "necking" session

The Main Event
Now that you've put all this effort into getting your partner ready, it's time to move onto the main event. Again, it's important to remember that the longer you draw out the seduction, the better it will be.

There are various stages of arousal you enter into when engaging in love play. The shorter the experience, the lower the level of arousal you are able to access. The longer the experience, the higher the level of arousal you and your partner can enter into. Thus, if you can prolong the experience you will create a memory you will both treasure for quite a while.

To make the most of this factor, you'll need to have things in place that will heighten all of your partner's senses. We're talking about a full assault on their senses. When you're done with them you'll leave them wondering how sex could have ever been otherwise. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Sense of Sight: Care and attention should be placed on the location. If in your bedroom, candles lit, silky bedding and lots of pillows are a must. Arouse this sense further with lingerie.
• Sense of Smell: Aromatics can work for you or against you. Make sure you know which scents your partner enjoys. Get scented candles, incense or scented massage oil to help heighten this sense.
• Sense of Taste: This can be incorporated in two ways. One is through food with aphrodisiac qualities such as strawberries or oysters. The other is through edible lotions, chocolate syrups or whip cream.
• Sense of Hearing: Get creative and record yourself telling an erotic story and leave it playing in the background. Or, play music that fits the overall mood you are going for. If you have sensual movies you may want to have the sound playing in the background.
• Sense of Touch: One of the most erotic senses of all is the sense of touch. You will already be using this sense just by engaging the seduction. To heighten it you need to make sure every time they feel something against their skin it has an extra sensation added to it. You can do this with silky bedding, silky lingerie, or even with a massage with your favorite oils. You may also want to try a feather, something furry or a rose when you touch them.

You can further heighten the senses by hindering one of them completely. A reduction causes the other senses to work more to make up for the loss. You can remove the sense of sight by using a blindfold. You can remove the sense of touch by using restraints. You need to make sure your partner would be comfortable with this type of love play before doing this though.

For an additional benefit, when you execute your main event, you may want to try something a little different. For example, a tryst with role-playing may let your partner become more open and result in new levels of arousal. Or, a prolonged temptation before letting them reach their peak will certainly get results.

Remember, this is your seduction. You can do whatever you KNOW will get your partner excited. The main point is to infuse some creative loving into your relationship. If you've lost a bit of that "new love attraction" this is an excellent way to get it back. Every few months, make sure you do something similar to this to keep the spark alive and create some fantastic memories to look back upon!

source: http://www.lovingyou.com/

50 Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor

If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.

8 Not shaving before sex

When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12 Dropping the condom on the floor

Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation

Like we said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.

16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.

17 Expecting her to shave for you

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19 Entering her without asking her first

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex.

20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in

This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up

Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.

22 Thrusting too hard

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation". See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock

Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure....."

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK

The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life

Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her

Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's into a little dominance play

No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it

When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission

Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation

Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex

A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms.

source: http://www.eioba.com/

Penis Size -- The Facts

Even in this supposedly enlightened century, men fret about their penis size. Any man are worried that they are 'too small'. And you have probably noticed that the internet is full of ads from companies who claim that they know how to enlarge your penis – at a price.

Any woman reading this article may find it puzzling that so many men are concerned about the length of their penis and wish they had 'just a couples of inches more'. But that's the way that a lot of men are. Let's now look at the basic facts.

Size matters

To the average man, his penis is, consciously or unconsciously, one of the most important things in the whole world. At an early age he discovers it and immediately becomes fascinated by it.

But then a note of uncertainty enters his mind: 'Isn't mine rather small?' Look at Dad's, look at big brother's, look at those in the men's changing room - and he asks himself if he will be as big as that.

And so he goes on through life, always a tiny bit sensitive about the size of his organ, always convinced that it would be nicer if it were just that little bit longer.

No matter how often it's written that penile size doesn't matter, and that women aren't attracted to a man because of the length of his organ, the average male continues to think the same way.

The average female cannot understand this obsession with penile measurement. So if you're a woman, never belittle a man's penis in bed, even as a joke, or say anything to indicate that you think it's small. The guy may take you seriously, and if he does, he'll be deeply hurt.

We have known men who have gone on to have problems with impotence (erectile dysfunction) after someone made an unthinking remark about their dimensions. But almost all of these men had a perfectly normal male organ. Each one just thought he was very small compared with other men.

A question of perspective

The trouble is that every man sees his own penis in a foreshortened view. The angle at which you look down inevitably makes your penis seem shorter than it is.

But when you glance at another man's organ, there's no such foreshortening effect, so very often it'll look as though the other guy is slightly better endowed.

A lifetime of comparison of this sort (and virtually every male does a quick mental check on each naked man he comes across) can easily make you feel a bit inadequate. But it's important to realise the true dimensions of penis length.

Average penis length

A non-erect penis usually measures between 8.5cm and 10.5cm (3-4 inches) from tip to base.

The average figure is about 9.5cm (3.75 inches), but this kind of precise measurement is rather valueless. Many factors can cause a temporary shrinkage of two inches or more, for instance cold weather or going swimming, so you needn't worry if you happen to fall short of the average figure.

Of course, it's true that some men have big penises and some have smaller ones, just as some men have small feet and some have big feet, but the measurement is not - repeat not - an index of virility.

Most people think that a tall man will usually have a large penis, but this is not true. The distinguished American researchers Masters and Johnson measured the penile lengths of more than 300 men.

• The largest organ was 14 cm (5.5 inches) in the flaccid state. It belonged to a slim man who was 5' 7" tall (170 cm).
• The smallest penis measured 6cm (2.25 inches). It belonged to a fairly heavily built man of 5' 11" (180cm).
  

It's also worth pointing out that there is no correlation between penile size and race.

Average size of erections

We've talked about the length of the penis in its ordinary non-erect state, but how long should it be when it's erect? Interestingly, most penises are very much the same size when erect.

• The man whose non-erect penis is smallish will usually achieve about a 100 per cent increase in length during sexual excitement.
• The man whose non-erect penis is on the largish size will
• probably manage about a 75 per cent increase.
• This means the great majority of penises measure between 15cm and 18cm (6-7 inches) when erect, with the average figure being about 16.5cm (6.5 inches).

So you can see that even if a man has got a 'small' penis, he's got a built-in compensating factor that will bring him up to about the same size as the guy who appears to be 'better equipped' in the shower room.

Medical advice and surgery

If you're really worried that your penis is the wrong size, go and consult your doctor.
If you're not happy about consulting your GP on such an intimate matter, you could see one of the medics who spend their entire day checking men's penises. A number of private clinics now offer operations that claim to make the penis look bigger. The expense of this type of surgery is very great and there is a risk of complications like bleeding, infection or deformity.

One fairly simple surgical procedure that has become popular since 2005 is slicing through the ligament that supports the penis.

This makes the penis dangle more, so it looks longer when not erect. But it will make no difference to the size of your erection – and it won’t come up as high as it used to before the op.

Occasionally, a man with a big penis feels that he wants it reduced in size. This can be done, but there is quite a risk that the operation might go wrong.

Source: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk